An Early Poem, 2 versions

First shot:

Hong Kong

How glitzy, and the rail is so modern, but Kai Tak is gone
You could always tell a first timer on the flight into Kai Tak,
747 at rooftop level, screaming over Harbor Junks and Business Towers
somewhere it is written man was not meant to see such sights
at 400 kilometers per hour into downtown Hong Kong City
deplaning into wet heat, the noise of millions and the sudden
(Oh, it used to hit hard) smells, HK was rich in olfactory assault
and everyone hurried everywhere, and capitalism bled into all your senses
(I know some waterfront triad was looking to package and sell that smell)
Now it looks like SFO, or NRT, or even MSP, and HKI has Starbucks and KFC
Modern Trains and the bribery lines (sorry I meant customs and immigration)
Look at your passport not your wallet, and don't even mention fines
Well, the English have all gone, and the locals need to find another style

And…..Here's another shot

Hong Kong International Airport

How glitzy, and the rail is so modern,
Shinier than Tokyo or Singapore
but Kai Tak is gone

You could always tell a first timer flying into Kai Tak,
747 at rooftop level, screaming over Junks and Business Towers

500 miles per hour into downtown Hong Kong
into the city itself, threading the alleys,
landing below hanging laundry
deplaning into wet heat

no one had hiccups

the noise of millions
and the sudden (Oh, it used to hit hard) smells;
HK was rich in olfactory assault
everyone hurried everywhere
capitalism bled into all your senses

(I know some triad looked to sell that smell)

Now it looks like SFO, or NRT, or even MSP
and HKI has Starbucks and KFC
Modern Trains and the bribery lines (sorry I meant customs and immigration)
Look at your passport not your wallet, and don’t even mention fines

Well, the English have all gone, and the locals need to find another style

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About dragonpoet

But sometimes what you write is neither polished nor useful. Then it arrives here. With lots of sentence fragments and beginning ideas. If you wish, please comment on what you find. If you don't like the politics, don't comment. Here, we deal with the writing.
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